The Brown Girl’s Guide to Western Acceptance
LOOSEN YOUR BODICE (AW YEAH, FAIR MAIDEN)
i love the running joke in the books that all the musketeers only have one name because usually most men would draw out their titles and make them as ridiculously long as possible
so you’d have to stand there and be impressed as they rattled off “je suis the count of this estate in the town of this hillside by this canal in this region which is famous for its cheese adjacent to this other region which my land touches; son of this guy and grandon of that guy; godson of some other guy and besties with this one guy you’ve probably heard of; gentleman and connoisseur of all fine things including your wife BURN”
and then you’d be obligated to duel them, after responding with your own name, twenty minutes later
but the guys the musketeers fight brace themselves for this long-ass name and all they get is two syllables and they’re like “…what? that’s, that’s it? that’s all you’re gonna give me?”
the thing is that porthos and aramis are literally too poor to afford better names, so they make up for it with bluster all like, “yeah, i’m so cool i don’t need another name. you wanna go? you wanna get your ass kicked by a one-name dude? let’s go. let’s fuckiNG GO OH SHit you broke my fucking leg oh dude nah”
and then there’s athos who gives negative fucks and is like “yeah i have some names to spare but i’m not gonna give them to YOU, asswipe. i’m gonna ignore you completely and go drink twice my body weight in wine.”
and no one asks d’artagnan for his name, who the fuck cares when he’s already skewered you and run off wildly into the sunset
I miss buffy so much
God saved you from the river, He saved you in all your wanderings, and even now, He saves you from the wrath of Pharaoh. God will not abandon you.
So don’t you abandon us.
No games. Listen. I did what I did to Henry Madsen because I wanted to help you. I put my liberty at risk because I couldn’t bear to see you hurt so what I did…wholly unselfish reasons.
newspaper comics are a whole other world where anything goes and jokes are optional
tumblrs message system is a bit like messenger pigeons only they’re chickens and you just kind of throw them in the direction of the recipient and hope they find their way